A fat fad

Pink sparkley cell phones, Hannah Montana blaring in an equally pink iPod, using "OMG" and other abbreviations in place of real sentences, skinny jeans, baby bumps...wait a minute?

High school is filled with ever changing trends and fashion statements. The newest, hottest craze storming teens across America? Big baby filled bellies!

Where annoying butterfly charmed rings used to dangle in an alluring come and get me sort of way, maternity elastic pants now stretch to fit the stomachs of young girls. Now, in my hometown, teen pregnancy wasn't a shocker. In fact, not being preggers at prom was quite the feat. But ever since Zoey 101 kid star Jamie -Lynne blimped up and Ellen Page stuffed her t-shirt for Juno, and Katherine Heigl was happily ever after Knocked Up, girls apparently just can't be seen without their own real baby bubble.

By the by, congrats to Miss Spears for giving birth to baby Maddie Briann last week! Let's see how things turn out with that: 17 year old momma, college drop-out daddy and a whole lotta press!

In Gloucester, MA this past week, during the graduation and prom hullabaloo, an astounding 17 girls are greeting their summer vacations with a slightly more round bikini bod. All of the soon-to-be mothers are no older than 16 and apparently formed some sort of weird underage pregnancy cult pacting to get preggo together and help each other raise their children. High fives were exchanged outside of the school nurse's office after positive pee-stick testing.

Some school officials are blaming the preggers craze in Hollywood and shrinks might say it's the unwed mothers'-to-be need for unconditional love. The fathers are clearly out of the picture (the only confirmed sperm donor to the cause was a 24 year old homeless man. Maybe we should investigate why 16 yr olds are sleeping with homeless people...)

What will come of this infant explosion among teeny boppers? Who knows! Is it all the fault of Juno and Bleeker's adorable Mac & Cheese romance? Or Jamie-Lynn's real-life game of house with her southern boy toy? Perhaps. But regardless of these Hollywood excuses for bad parenting, I think there is something a little more serious going on with these girls. Maybe it's the school system's lack of sex-ed (parents request that nurses or anyone do not distribute condoms or promote safe sex since they're obvi doing a great job with their kids at home).

I only hope this new bun in the oven fashion trend doesn't stick around the high schools much longer. After popping out the not so wee one I 'm sure these girls will have some second thoughts and children having children will be so 2008.