Please, be tamed...just a little.

As I sat at my computer this morning for the last time before I venture off to Disney World for a week, a disturbingly, revealing photo from the Much Music Awards of, who else, Miley Cyrus, appears in front of my groggy eyes. First off, it is far too early in the morning for me to be seeing 17-year-old, lady parts or anything of the sort (thanks Perez Hilton) without so much as a cup of coffee. Secondly, why Miley? I was actually just starting to support your rebellion.

Just the other day, I was defending your statement about teeny-bopper boys being able to flaunt their goods in tiny tanks and skinny-girl jeans and how it's unfair that you can't express yourself. And then you wear an unbelievably, inappropriate, white bodysuit, clearly stolen from Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera's 2003 performance with Madonna at the VMAs, except they wore a bottom half. Not only does this reveal that you have bad taste but that you apparently keep up with your favorite bikini wax artist.

These are the sort of pictures that should be haunting you in your mid-to-late 20s when you "accidentally" forget your underwear out one night, wearing a mini dress while lunging out of a limo. I am interested to see how she squirms her way out of this one. None of that "I'm a big girl now" crap because this is one of those things her parents should lock her up for--or her parents should be locked up for letting her do. This will be a defining moment for Billy Ray and Mrs. Billy Ray: Will they go the Lohan family route and let things spiral out of control and suck up the fame at their daughter's expense? Or, will Billy Ray step in like Britney's dad and delegate her every move and demand she wears proper undergarments?

rE!ality: Part 1

My latest addiction- E!'s juicy new summer line of couture celeb reality shows.

They had me when I was challenged to keep up with the Kardashian's and now I get to live with the Lohans and husband steal with Denise Richards!

We're all familiar with Lindsay's trainwreck lifestyle--multiple fender benders, hospitilizations, drug use, rehab, sucky movie roles, newfound lesbianism etc.-- but who knew she had a little sister? The not so shocking part however, mini Lohan wants to be exactly like her big sis. And helping the 14yr old along the way, her ever doting mother Dina.

Momma Lohan may not have the track record of Mrs. Spears (exhibit A and B: preggers Jamie-Lynne, Bonkers Britney) but she ain't no mother of the year either. I think the aim of Living Lohan is to show that the family isn't all the tabloids say it is and that the single mother of four(there's an adorable unaffected little brother and older brother Michael) is wholesome and has her kids' best interest at heart. But that perfect smile and all too smug attitude we see in the mags leads us to believe otherwise...

Episode 2 of the new rE!ality show: After Ali talks her mother out of wearing a see through little Stella Mcartney dress, Dina leaves the kids home with a teen babysitter to go to a magazine party which suprise, she was on the cover. The kids smell something like a gas leak or fire. Mommy doesn't hear her phone ring through the pouring martinis and pumping music. 11yr old Dakota calls the fire department himself. Momma Lohan makes it home only after her driver recieves a call about the fire and lets her know.

She's a classy broad that Dina.

I'm just saying, leaving the kids practically unattended and ignoring their calls for help while partying- not cool. Letting some 20 something unknown aspiring musician that has been stalking you online into your house to hang with your underage daughter alone-maybz a bad idea.

I will give Lilo's mom props on not letting the mean girls of high school bring down Ali, fighting the tabloids tooth and nail and for working so damn hard to manage her daughters' careers. It's just difficult to see past that Botox happy, bleach blonde facade to see a caring matriarch where a fame hungry attention whore seems to reside...