Please, be tamed...just a little.

As I sat at my computer this morning for the last time before I venture off to Disney World for a week, a disturbingly, revealing photo from the Much Music Awards of, who else, Miley Cyrus, appears in front of my groggy eyes. First off, it is far too early in the morning for me to be seeing 17-year-old, lady parts or anything of the sort (thanks Perez Hilton) without so much as a cup of coffee. Secondly, why Miley? I was actually just starting to support your rebellion.

Just the other day, I was defending your statement about teeny-bopper boys being able to flaunt their goods in tiny tanks and skinny-girl jeans and how it's unfair that you can't express yourself. And then you wear an unbelievably, inappropriate, white bodysuit, clearly stolen from Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera's 2003 performance with Madonna at the VMAs, except they wore a bottom half. Not only does this reveal that you have bad taste but that you apparently keep up with your favorite bikini wax artist.

These are the sort of pictures that should be haunting you in your mid-to-late 20s when you "accidentally" forget your underwear out one night, wearing a mini dress while lunging out of a limo. I am interested to see how she squirms her way out of this one. None of that "I'm a big girl now" crap because this is one of those things her parents should lock her up for--or her parents should be locked up for letting her do. This will be a defining moment for Billy Ray and Mrs. Billy Ray: Will they go the Lohan family route and let things spiral out of control and suck up the fame at their daughter's expense? Or, will Billy Ray step in like Britney's dad and delegate her every move and demand she wears proper undergarments?

The Caged Bird Sings

Britney was a "Slave 4 U"

Christina got "Dirrrrty"

And now, it's Miley's turn...

http://www.eonline.com/videos/v53035_miley-cyrus-cant-be-tamed-video.html

She is soaring out of the cushy Disney closet, leaving behind her morals and most of her clothes. Miss Cyrus gave us a little taste of what's-to-come with her infamous Vanity Fair shoot, her pole dancing at the Teen Choice Awards in 09 and those long forgotten slumber party-shower photos. Now it's official--Miley Cyrus can't be tamed.

Apparently, as her new video points out, she is like a rare, wild bird that can't be confined to a cage or metallic corset for that matter. She is breaking out of her Mickey-made-mold and slipping into something a little less comfy with a lot more feathers. "Party in the USA" was, and still is, wildly popular in most circles for its upbeat-good time feel. "I Can't Be Tamed" is sure to hit a different crowd (a.k.a. not my 5-year-old cousin.)

Some may find the transformation a bit jarring. One week she's Hanna Montana and the next she looks like Brtiney Spears in "Womanizer" meets Sasha Fierce. Couture S&M gear and a pole shouldn't be as appealing to her young fans as a blond wig but, odds are, giant black wings, thigh high boots and a leather bodysuit may be on your tween daughter's newest shopping list.

While her young fans (and their parents) may not be prepared, Miley's friends and Hollywood teammates are loving the new look, so far. Demi Lovato tweets, "SO proud of that girl... THAT VIDEO IS SOOO GOOD!!!!!" and others say she's the next Britney Spears just with a ten year headstart. Let's hope that title doesn't come with the psychiatric breakdown, two children with a hobo and a Mr. Clean haircut.

For now, we need to anxiously await her new album's release in June and accept the wild bird for what she is--a 17-year-old "discovering herself" with the help of her bottomless piggy bank and a team of people dedicated to pushing her to the edge. Hopefully, those gigantic wings really help her fly when/if she gets pushed too far.