RobOBAMA

"Who invited that guy?"

Mother Speidi

vs.

The Hills-top haughty, Heidi Pratt, and her nude-bearded beau, Spencer, have started to make their way around the talk show circuit after their brief stint on NBC's "I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!" After being ripped a new one by Al Roker, the girls on The View had their way with the bubbly blockheads.

As Heidi continuously sprayed her hair with her new line of dry shampoo (because her obviously coiffed hair was in need of a washing mid-interview), Spencer described to Elisabeth what it was like to be baptized in a river by Stephen Baldwin. Ms. Holier-than-thou-Hassleback thought Spencer's re-birth was a great thing but Whoopie saw through the bullshit and Spenced-out a little herself. She genuinely but sternly warned the two that they may be on a potentially dangerous path that may kick them off the Hills and onto the streets.

One topic that Joy couldn't let pass was Heidi's high hopes for her future. The self-proclaimed Jesus lover has said, "My goal is to be a true disciple of Jesus, a Mother Teresa helping the poor and the hungry." In case you were confused, she is talking about the Nobel Peace Prize Winning, almost-a-saint Mother Teresa. I mean, they both love Jesus, have traveled the world...posed for Playboy? I think not. When asked if posing nude is really a good Mother Teresa-wannabe move, Heidi explained that she is just a more modern day version. Feeding the poor by day, posing for a raunchy centerfold by night.

One can only hope these two media tyrants will see the end of their inexplicable fame. Sadly, as long as cheesy reality shows starring kinda-celebs are being filmed, Speidi will be there. Or if Playboy pages need more bodacious blondes, Speidi will be there. And until Mother Teresa's shoes have officially been filled, Speidi will be there to gracefully slip them on--except they'll be a more strappy pair of Manolo's, with a matching purse, to hold all the food for the poor kids.